How are we all?
I seem to have jumped into some sort of parallel universe as I’m starting to read quite a few Non Fiction books, which is not like me at all.
We all know who the Spice Girls are, even if you don’t like them, they were a force to be reckoned with in the 90’s, and they are back #Girlpower
Why did you pick it up Vicci? – I saw Mel B on TV giving an interview about this book, and it resonated with me, I understood a lot of what she was talking about.
My Thoughts
Mel B was always the very outspoken, ball-bashing one of the Spice Girls, if it needed saying, she was probably the one to say it, she gave no-shits about what people thought about her, and was very happy with this thank you very much!
Except this was really what she wanted people to see, she was actually a girl looking for love, mainly that of her father, he obviously loved her, but I think that she wanted to be shown how much she was loved, instead of being told that she wasn’t going to amount to anything, or that she was just a nuisance.
Melanie doesn’t hold back in this book, she is indeed Brutally Honest, she tells you about everything, from the drinking, to the drugs and more.
Her relationships with her friends, family and lovers are also included, including lots of old stories about how she got into the Spice Girls, and also about the man that she calls the love of her life, Eddie Murphy.
She also tells the story about her 10 year marriage to Stephen Belafonte (pronounced Steffan, cause he’s a dick like that!)
At the beginning the relationship was good, but it was quick, they were married really early on in the relationship, and he started to more than a healthy interest in her work/friends/money etc. So much so, in the end he had full control of everything!
After a short time the abuse started, but as she explains it wasn’t hitting straight away, it was verbal and emotional abuse, and it was done so subtly that she didn’t even realise what it was.
It’s hard to see when you are in it (although it becomes horribly, blindingly obvious when you are out of it) that the emotional upset you feel with your partner doesn’t just exist between the two of you or in your bedroom. It is an energy that fills a house.
She was Gaslighted, mentally and emotionally abused, which finally led to physical abuse.
When you are reading the book, you find that it does jump around a bit, from past to present, Melanie admits to having ADHD which is why I think it does this, it doesn’t seem to be in any sort of chronological order, it’s like she thinks of something and has to get it down before she forgets it, and I loved that about it.
For 10 years this woman was beaten down to feeling like nothing, and even at one point tried to kill herself, she was self medicating with drink and drugs to stop these feelings, and for the whole time she felt like, and was told it was her fault- THIS IS ABUSE
Melanie is an incredibly brave woman to open up her life to show everyone, and I applaud her for this, it shows that abuse does not discriminate, old, young, rich or poor, it can effect anyone.
Mel tells her story, warts and all, and explains how, to those people that say “Why didn’t you just leave?” that it isn’t that easy, some people don’t even realise that they are being abused.
There are 15 signs on the cover of the book, these are all RED FLAGS, it is incredibly important that people recognise these signs, and maybe, just maybe it will help, even just one person.
I think she is one HELL of a brave lady for doing this, and I hope that her and her family are super happy now 😘
🎧🎧 – Narration for the audio book was by Zaraah Abrahams who was fabulous, she sounds very much like Mel B when she speaks, so by the time it was halfway through, I had forgotten it was a different person narrating it.
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If this is you, then don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it, you are not alone, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, he doesn’t have to hit you for it to be abuse #ThisIsNotLove #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou
About the book
Brutally Honest By: Melanie Brown, Narrated by: Melanie Brown, Zaraah Abrahams Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins Release date: 27-11-18 Publisher: Audible Studios
The memoir from the real woman behind the leopard print, for real women everywhere.
As one-fifth of the iconic Spice Girls and judge on X Factor and America’s Got Talent, Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, has been an international star since the age of 19. And yet there are sides of Mel that no one has ever seen or really known.
Brutally Honest is an exposé of the struggles and acute pain that lay behind the glamour and success. With deep personal insight, remarkable frankness and Melanie’s trademark Yorkshire humour, this audiobook removes the mask of fame and reveals the mother, wife and daughter behind the Spice Girl everyone thinks they know.
The audiobook edition features narration from Melanie, her daughter, Phoenix, and her mother, Andrea.
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Oooh that is great… She is inspiring lovely review. Sometimes this abuse happens so subtly. I spent years with a guy who told me I am worthless… Till I was a mess years later
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😔
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Thank you Shalini, yes me too, I’ve just recently removed myself from one, hoping to get back to being me again soon 😘
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All my strength to you… ♥️❤️
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Thank you lovely 😘 you too x
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wonderful review! It’s good to list out those warning to help those who needed it. I have seen sometimes victim of domestic abuse starts blaming themselves at some point which is worst case.
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Thank you Yesha, yes unfortunately the gaslighting makes you doubt yourself so much that you start believing what they tell you, because they are only saying it because they love you right?
V x
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Wow!! I didn’t know all of that about Mel B. She’s been through a lot!
That list is terrible. 😤 I hate it that people have suffered mentally, physically and emotionally from abuse. You’re right, it doesn’t discriminate. Great review.
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Thank you Cozy, yes and i think the mental abuse is sometimes worse, bruises can heal, but the emotional abuse ingrains itself until you start to believe it.
V x
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😔
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Fascinating review, Vicci!
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Thank you Jonetta x
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WOW, I never would have suspected. Such a strong lady and great role model.
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She really is
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